Friday 20 March 2015

Born 6 February 1961,   (Same day as Bob Marley)
one month premature in Hackney Mothers home, East London, weighting 4lbs,11oz I was placed in an incubator.
My Mum told me she was chopping wood for the fire and went into labour. She lived in Beaumont road , Leyton, East London. there also lived my Dad and Sister and Grandma, Clarke. She owned the house and also the one next door. She was a money lender in the war and run a loan club; whereby she bought things and sold them to people on the weekly.

By age 1, I was placed in the local nursery in Leyton ,as my Mother needed to work to feed the family.
dont recall it's name, dont recall much front life, virtually nothing,

Don't recall living in the house photoed below the back of, Only told we had a cat and I was scared of it, but within a week it was scared of me.

Also there were mice and my Mum tried to poison them, and was perplexed as to why they still remained, until she discovered I was feeding them by hand from my high chair,,,
                                                                                    they stood in front of me waiting for food.

My Mother was well educated and worked as a secretary
in Mayfair.

My father was a Greyhound trainer/gambler. I believe he was considered the one of the best
both very good at maths, he very good at predicting winners but addicted to gambling so had to have a bet even when unsure, just for the thrill.

After being in nursery for a short time I was having difficulty with my bowel control and so was taken to be seen at Hackney and Queen Elizbeth Children hospital

by Dr Ursula Shelley.

She decided to take me in for observations....................29 August 1963...

...'as her Mother goes to work and it's a long journey to bring
the child to Out patients, I have today admitted the child
for these investigations.'.........

Dr Ursula Shelley can be seen here...
Photograph of DR Ursula Shelley, held at the national portrait gallery

and here

Photograph of Dr Ursula Shelley on article re Women Dr's

She along with other Female Dr's can be read about in this link
Pride, prejudice, and paediatrics (women paediatricians in England before 1950)

Taken in on the 25 August until 16 September 1963 these are the findings

This link page to the Royal College of Physicians, biography on Dr Ursula Shelley
Biography of Dr Ursula Shelley

...'After house physician posts at the Royal Free Hospital and at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital for Children, she was appointed assistant physician at the Princess Louise Hospital for Children, Kensington, from 1937 to 1944 and physician from 1944 to 1971. She was assistant physician in the children’s department of the Royal Free Hospital from 1935 to 1940, and physician from 1940 to 1971, and also physician to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital for Children from 1946 to 1971. In 1950 she became a liveryman of the Worshipful Society of Apothecaries, one of the first women doctors to achieve this, and later she was made a freeman of the City of London.....'

;Although Ursula Shelley was at the forefront of care for children with cerebral palsy she did not get the recognition she deserved as she did very little research....'

'an article on the early diagnosis of brain injured children was published in Physiotherapy in 1963....'

'she took a great interest in the work of James Robertson on the separation of children from their parents. ..'
'vice-president of the National Association of Nursery Matrons and she took a keen interest in the training of nursery nurses'

'Her mind was always so active that she spoke very quickly and she had little time for fools. '

'She did not marry but enjoyed her two homes, one in Hyde Park Gate and the other in Chobham -where she spent the weekends - and was very well looked after by her companion and housekeeper, '

'Her interests included gardening and her lion dogs..'

'Her years after retirement were marred by a serious road accident and for several years she suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. '


I went in search of her home etc to learn more about her...not the greatest video but I share

                                                                       Chobham Surrey


I did find the video by Robertson and Robertson on youtube in Russian but it since has been made private
but here is the link to my facebook thread pertaining to for now,,,,,

                                                  My facebook thread that had video on

on which are posts like this link to Robertson and Robertson site

(1969) Film: John, Aged Seventeen Months, For Nine Days in a Residential Nursery. 16 mm, 43 minutes, in English, Danish, French, German and Swedish. Young Children in Brief Separation Film Series. Concord Video and Film Council.

                 Robertson Films Home Page Publications by James and Joyce Robertson

   A two year old goes to hospital (Robertson Films)

Young Children in Hospital James Robertson 1958 Tavistock Reprinted with 40 page postscript as:Young Children In Hospital James Robertson 1970 Tavistock Separation And The Very Young James and Joyce Robertson 1989

                             Day Nursery at Epsom Road
On the 25th April, 1963 the new Day Nursery at Epsom Road was officially opened by
the Mayoress of Leyton (Councillor Mrs.D.E.Collins) and I set out hereunder some notes
on the building, and the service that is carried out in our Day Nurseries.
click to read more

I believe this photo may have been taken in underground room

as the wall is the same colour as sound proof paint they use in underground bases

Click here for more info on the Underground bases

Here I am sitting on my sisters lap at Nursery
judging by my cardigan and hair it appears to be the same day as the other photo I posted above

My only front recall from being in hospital is a vague image of me being in a cot......

it is not clear of what happened next as different family members remember different things, my dad always says I was in Great Ormond Street Hospital too.

My sister said I was not around from age 2 - 4.

I recall hearing my dad threaten me with ...'your go back in that home!'.....when I mis-behaved, which was normal for me,,,,,as I was very mischievious and do recall having a little motto.....'I'm gonna, cos I wanna'...

I found this letter in my medical files, but as you can see it doesn't state where it was sent from; it appears like a half sheet of paper with the top and bottom cut off.

Here I am Aged 3

As you can see it is dated 17 June 1964, which is 9 months after Dr Ursula Shelley had me in for observations.

Signed J Wilson, one can only assume that is Dr J Wilson, whom I can not find anything on in my search. It states assistant Psychiatrist, but to whom I do not know. And as to why the referral was made there is no record of.

It states I was of Superior Intelligence with an I.Q. of 130. At that time I would have been aged 3 years.
I gave mature responses and my speech was will developed.

Dr Lawrence was our family GP.

It finally states that the journey to the hospital is really too far, and that my Mother would prefer therefore i went to the local clinic, so I was referred to Dr Little child psychiatrist

Here are some links to articles written 1963/64 note I wasn't referred until 1964...

THe Clinic
The following report has been submitted by Dr. W. R.Little, the Consultant Child
Psychiatrist, Leyton Child Guidance Clinic.
"In the last quarter of 1963, as compared with the last quarter of 1962, the
number of cases referred continued to increase from 45 to 62. We have increased our
staff by a remedial teacher (15 hours a week), a part-time secretary (20 hours a week)
both from December, 1963, and within the first quarter of 1964 we will have two fulltime
psychiatric social workers, to replace Miss Morawetz, the social worker who left
in December, 1963.'.......

The day Nursery I attended

There are two Day Nurseries in the area, each having accommodation for 50 children:
(1) Ellingham Road Day Nursery,
Ellingham Road, Leyton, E.15. (Telephone: MARyland 3683)
(2) Epsom Road Day Nursery,
Epsom Road, E.10. (Telephone: LEYtonstone 4100)

Three children under 5 years were seen by the consultant, Mr.Morrison, at the Ear,
Nose and Throat Clinic

1964 report

[Report of the Medical Officer of Health for Leyton]
There is no doubt that the children who go to the development sessions need the
play therapy that is provided for them there. It was noticed at one of the Christmas
parties how striking was the attitude of the mothers to the children, the majority of
them seemed unable to "give out" much feeling towards their children and were in themselves
rather withdrawn and depressed.

Leyton 1964

[Report of the Medical Officer of Health for Leyton]Psychiatric Service for Children
Dr. W.R.Little, the Consultant Child Psychiatrist, has supplied the following
comments on the work of the service in 1964.
The staffing of the service and the work done remains constant, but has changed
its character. The emphasis is now on the prevention of the development of intractable
difficulties within families by early detection of children at risk.
The Borough health services refer children to the Development Clinics for toddlers,
where they can be supervised. Many more infant schools can be visited and more formal
discussions arranged between the staff, as a school, and the child psychiatric team.
The health services are encouraged to take special interest in families undergoing
a crisis (such as illness) and help to decide which families can be referred for
further help.
Children attending special schools are helped by a close contact between the staff
of these schools and the psychiatric team.
The pilot scheme of discussion between junior and senior schools staff and psychiatric
team has helped to define which individual problems need what kind of help.
Since June, 1964, the Children in need of active outlets of their energies in the
Paediatric Unit have been admitted to a ward converted for the purpose to accommodate
twelve children of school age, to which an additional part-time teacher has been
appointed. In the first six months, fifty-nine children had been admitted, the majority
of whom responded by improving. We were particularly pleased with the rate of return
of children who found attending school difficult; with the co-operation of local
schools, most of these children were back attending their regular day school within six
weeks of admission.
After an initial period of adjustment to the Unit Programme, most children seem to
work out how to get the best out of themselves with the help of the staff.

22 December 1964

letter to family GP from Dr Little

my age at time, 3 yrs, 10 mths

Mrs Lucke, Matron of Epson road nursery

It states regarding suppositories
..' to be inserted every other day'......

It states they were uses occasionally, but in truth ,,no I refused to be anally raped and so my father did.

A point was made regarding my Fathers expressed interest in the clinic, asking why I had been much brighter since I came',,
(Therefore one can only deduce I was sad for some reason.and yes I do look sad in the photos provided by Nursery.)

This intrigues me ; for he would not of been attending any appointments; it would have only been my Mother whom brought me. Therefore she may well of remarked that my Father had asked, but to place in a short note I do find interesting.

The Psychiatrist states ' I suggested Louise had managed to see someone outside the family who was prepared to be firm'.

I am asking in what way was he differently  firm. as I was in full time nursery. My Mother was working plus a house wife and my Father was very firm.

He goes on to say how Matron had sent a very helpful report and would receive a copy of this letter.

I have been told since childhood how I loved Mrs Lucke,Matron and also how I loved Dr Little , the Psychiatrist here.
I only had one memory of being in the Nursery, where I laid on a small green camper bed, amounst other children and I believe we went to sleep at lunch time. I recall blowing spit bubbles at Llyod Harris..a Black  mixed race boy laying in the opposite bed.

My only recall of visiting Dr Little was some vague recall of some Russian dolls on a shelf in his room and I somehow had a vague recall of a white man with black hair, beard and Mustache.

I was told by my Mother that when I went to visit him whilst in the waiting room, I would throw the chairs everywhere, then stack them up again.

Regarding my time in hospital I did not recall anything and my family have only vague recall on.

In my teens I dated a man called Agi, not a common name, and when I told my Mother his name she remarked that I had a friend whilst I was in hospital called Agi also, and he was a little Black mixed race boy with no legs.

I then told her of an experience I had had a few years prior where I was selling badges from a board and a Black mixed raced man came to buy and had no legs. I told her how I felt such a strong bond with him which I couldn't comprehend why.

I have worked on trying to retrieve my memory for the past few years and in doing so I have come to recall fragments of memory, through drawing with some fragment of my past memory this picture took form before my eyes..

I asked that recalling very young part of me who took us there and she said 'Matron'.....I then asked how did she take me ,,,but got a laugh at the reply,,,,for she said 'By the hand' ,,,,

Here is the link to my conversation on fb regarding this Photo

This is a work in progress,,,,

Skinner box

Claim:   Psychologist B. F. Skinner raised his own daughter in a "Skinner box"; as a result, she grew up psychologically damaged, sued her father, and committed suicide.
This article twists and turns the whole wrong doing of keeping a child in a box the size of a crib for 2 years making it out to be ok,,,and just media sensationalism.

It's wrong and Social services would not accept from any parent.

Baby in a box
B.F. Skinner     Ladies Home Journal, October 1945

Money talks
Money talks......dirty cash they want you,
dirty cash they need you oooohhh

'We, the Rockefeller Foundation, supported and funded the Women’s Liberation Movement. Why do you think we did it? There were two primary reasons for this: One was that before women’s right to work, we could only tax HALF of the population. The other was so that with women going out to work it would break up families. Women would have to spend all day at work away from the family. The children would begin to see the state and teachers as their family and this would make it easier to indoctrinate and control them.' ~ Nick Rockefeller to Aaron Russo

The "Sugar Daddies" Behind Feminism  link to page